Anxiety or Spidey-sense?
Let me just start by stating that I hold no formal schooling in the mental health space. This is just the thoughts of a man who’s world sometimes feels like a snow globe that’s being shaken by an overcaffeinated toddler. Who keeps giving her caffeine anyway?!?
There’s a lot of resources available and voices regarding the topic of anxiety and I’m grateful for all their contributions. But, I wonder sometimes how often we over-villainize that voice in our head that just wants to protect us. My question for you is how do you interact with that aspect of your inner-monologue? Have you yelled at it for sabotaging your relationships? Are you afraid of it? Do you hide it from the world in fear that it makes you too much for others?
Or is it secretly your superpower that maybe just needs a little fine tuning? No matter what your generation’s Spider-man looks like to you, he’s a character that possesses elite ability to prevent crime by anticipating danger through the use of his spidey-sense. Eleven Spiderman movies made to date and they all portray his spidey-sense in a positive light. What a great tool to quickly scan an environment for potential threats and take proactive action before a situation can quickly unravel. But it’s also something that had to drive him crazy because we are living in a world surrounded by danger.
One major contrast between Spiderman’s spidey sense and our anxiety can be that his spidey sense is phenomenally accurate at predicting future action and our anxious thoughts can catastrophize things that may never come to pass…at least not in the present moment. Our nervous system holds tremendous memory within it. You might not remember the specifics, but you remember deep in your gut the feeling of: broken trust, being ostracized from the group, or being abandoned. And your brain made a silent vow to yourself to be a watchful protector to never let you experience the depth of that pain ever again. Your Spidey sense may be overstimulated, but it is working. And it’s a good thing that it’s working. Think of it as that overprotective friend who wants to fight anyone who doesn’t like you or tries to take advantage of you. Maybe your anxious energy isn’t your enemy, but your friend that wants what’s best for you.
Maybe too much of the cultural conversation regarding anxiety revolves around how to eliminate it from our lives when it should be a focus on how to hone in your spidey-sense. Which is the thing about Spider-man I’m most impressed with. Adjusting his spidey-sense on when to go off and when to allow himself to live his life to the fullest.
NYPD statistics for 2024 reported 37,800 major crimes (murder, rape, robbery, felony assult, burglury, grand larceny and grand larceny auto from Jan 1st 2024 to April 28th, 2024. Down from 39,000 over the same time period in 2023. Those crimes occurring during all hours of the day and night. That’s over 300 cases per day (and not accounting for meta-humans in Peter Parker’s world). So when Uncle Ben says “with great power, comes great responsibility”, I think he’s referring to two things 1.) how Peter adjusts the dial on his Spidey sense and 2) how he finds balance and treats his super-hero duties as a marathon and finds peace regarding those he can’t save.
If his spidey sense push notifications are dialed to the max, his last R.E.M cycle would be the day he got his powers and he’d quickly lose his sanity. A spiderman running on no rest for multiple days showing up to a crime scene probably wouldn’t leave it alive. In order to preserve the greater good to protect his city, he has to: take off his suit, treat his wounds, and rest. And not assign blame to himself for the times he couldn’t be there.
We see Spidey struggle with the burden on not being able to save everyone; especially Andrew Garfield’s Spiderman. The Spiderman who over-extends himself burns out and scars his relationships with loved ones, is portrayed in Toby McGuire’s storyline. Spiderman had the learn the hard way the importance of self-care, setting boundaries, and not assigning guilt narrative regarding his limitations. I think he found a way to program his Spidey sense to prioritize his next right move and perhaps his most heroic feature is his ability to look himself in the mirror each night knowing he did the best he could for that day. That tomorrow is a new day that will bring about renewed strength. But, how do you determine how to dial in your own spidey-sense? How much can you handle? That’s the quesiton for me. It’s too big of a question for me. As a Christian man, I surrender that one up to the Holy Spirit to set the dial for me. I ask for God to use me as a vessel, guide my words and my steps on how to be an example of his love and compassion. And while I’ve saved no humans from burning buildings, nor rescued any parades from flying green bipolar Willam Dafoe’s; he has guided me to sit in it with people who are hurting. He’s guided me to be compassionate to the protective sides of myself when I get too negative. The truth is I can’t finish this blog post without being transparent about the role God has played in my life in overcoming this area for me. Your path may look different than mine. Whether you are open to a relationship with God or not, I challenge you to re-shape the way you view your anxious thoughts. Provide yourself with some grace in knowing that your body is trying to protect you. That you are worth protecting. And thank that part of yourself next time instead of feeling guilty about it. And don’t add narrative that you’re to blame for the destruction actions of others. You can’t help anyone who doesn’t want to help themselves. Be especially skeptical of anyone saying you are to blame for their actions. You can’t expect honesty from people who are lying to themselves.
Matthew 11:28: "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest".
Anyone who would like to come out to Calvary Church with me next Sunday is welcome. No pressure, but if you’re curious about it. Let’s chat!
Thanks for reading,
Jim Murray